Ruby Tuesday...

Morning!

Today began nice and warm, and has continued that way and so I've been reading Tom Jones in my beautiful garden. I'm trying to catch up on my classics before I go away to university, and so books such as Orlando by Virginia Woolf, The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers, and Tom Jones by Henry Fielding. So many of these great books are forgotten now that our bookshelves can be overwhelmed with second rate literature, poured out by printing presses.

Don't get me wrong - I love that the published (and blogging) world is now much more available to the general public, allowing events like the unrest over the Iranian elections, the problems in Zimbabwe, and other world events to be discussed truly worldwide. But I can't help but feel like some genres are over published, leaving little space for beautiful poetry, or literary criticism.

Anyway, literature moan over! It's a wonderful day and I feel - for once - mainly positive. After being held in isolation it seems for weeks, today I'll be going to a rehearsal for ROADS the Musical http://http//roads-themusical.art.officelive.com/default.aspx. Almost everyone that acts, dances, or sings in this musical is one of my close friends, and so rehearsals are relaxed fun times - except for when certain people (naming no names) forget their lines or cues in songs. The shows are getting closer and closer, and as Head of Costume there is a lot of pressure on me to get it all right! Thankfully my love of history and literature has helped me, and now it's just a case of getting the last few dancers their costumes.

Other events in my life today - we have crossed the two week threshold for my results, which is increasing my terror ever daily. These results will almost control my entire future, and it's worrying that right now there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it!

To those who aren't familiar with the IB, here's an extremely brief summary. Each student takes 6 subjects; their first language as literature (in my case English), a foreign language, a science, mathematics, and then two other subjects - either another language, science, or two humanities. The subjects that I chose were English Lit, Spanish, Environmental Systems, Maths, History and Philosophy.

Now to complicate matters - three of the six subjects are taken at a Higher Level, the other three at Standard Level. The only exception to this is Maths, which has three levels; Studies, Standard, and Higher. Each subject is marked out of seven, which is the highest mark.

And lastly, each student must also take Theory of Knowledge classes, write a 4000 word essay in their spare time, and also in their spare time do activities that come under three categories: Creativity, Action and Service (CAS). These are marked out of three.

The discerning reader would have worked out that the IB is out of 45. Due to the complexity of the IB, university offers vary as much. My personal offers are:

York
6s in History and English
a total of 36 points

Kent
6s in History and English
a total of 35 points

As you can see, there is very little difference between the two offers, and it means that if I do not achieve a 6 in History or English then I won't be going to university at all!

Neither of my parents went to university, though they both would have loved to go. Unlike many people in similar situations, I don't feel any more pressure because of this - I know that they would love for me to go to university on my own back, because I love the subject. I think most of the pressure that I feel is the pressure that I put on myself. I want to prove myself, to prove to myself that I can go to such brilliant universities as York or Kent.

The other universities that I applied to were Oxford, Durham, and Exeter (although I applied to study English at Exeter). Oxford was originally my dream - not, as many think, because of the glory of Oxford, but because it had the best course for me. It contained two bridge modules, while York and Kent only had one, and Durham had none.

After gruelling essays, tests, and interviews, I received my letter that although they wanted to give me a place, there simply wasn't space for me. I know that thousands of others were probably told exactly the same thing, but it really knocked my confidence. I don't like to boast, but academically I am strong.

The next blow came when I was rejected from Durham without them asking for essays or interviews, but because of my previous academic achievement. My GCSEs (exams taken at 16) were extremely strong. What was wrong? No university wanted me.

I was so despondent that my offers from Kent and York simply passed me by - I had never considered them. But research into York especially taught me differently. York is a top ten university, with excellent research status, a brilliant library, and treated as a wonderful university by students, teachers, academics, and employers alike.

So, now all I can do is wait. The A Levels will have to wait longer, I know, but I feel indignant really because I took my exams so much earlier. Another sore point is that I cannot obtain my results until 3pm, so it'll be a long wait in the morning!

Duty calls now, and so I'll sign off for today. I'll keep you posted, dear readers!